Sunday, May 30, 2004
Excuse me please.
I have been away and can only beg for your forgiveness as I was quite proud of the fact that I had been quite a good updater until now. I was even told by somebody when we started the site not to bother doing this as I would not be regular enough and that would bother the blogging community. By the way I wonder do most blogger types know that most people don't know what a blog is. As the website has become more popular more and more people are coming up to me asking me what a blog is. I am the worst person to ask because I am sure my definition does not live up to the standards set down by the International Blogging Commission. (IBC)
Anyway I am back from China and have begun to hand out the compulsory bucket loads of things that cost nothing and have no real purpose accept to appease everyone you know when you come home. You know if you don't people will be like "hey how come you never brought me back something that has no use that you had to haggle down from 20 us dollars to 10 cents over a half hour period". So I brought back loads of useless things so that people will know they are my friend. I bought some expensive stuff for people who I want to be my friend. For example I bought something expensive for a friend of mine who went to Asia last year and did not bring me back anything useless. I really felt like they must not like me as they knew the rule and they broke it. So now I assume that as they know the rules and know that I have in fact brought them something of value that they will have no choice but to like me according to the Souvenir for Friends Commission (SFC) guidelines, 2002.
So I have 5 days to remember that I am a comedian as I got quite detached from my life there for the last week and a half. I am a bit worried as Kilkenny is a big festival and I have a lot of gigs, yet I feel like I can't remember what I do anymore. This is not to put people off coming to see me it is just the truth. I am sure it will be fine I am just usually a bit more prepared. Though that is not really true as last year I had been working in Abrakebabra for a month up to 2 weeks before the festival and it turned out to be alright.
People always say to me when I return from holidays in an unusual place "I would say you got loads of material." What part of Holiday do people not understand. Comedy is a great job but part of it is shit and you do actually need a break sometimes. I do not base every action of my life under the pretence that there will probably some material in it. Incidentally most people I talk to are very uninteresting but they always say things like you are probably going to put this in your act now. NO I AM NOT you most uninteresting person you. I am not saying I am the most interesting person either but I do not think and never did think before I got into comedy that when talking to a comedian they were in fact turning my every word into comedy gold. I have very little material about China and most of what I do have has to do with going to the toilet which is not funny for 2 reasons.
1) Most of an audience have not had the collective toilet experience of China which has such a bonding influence that is overrides any desire to be grossed out.
2) While travelling in China all western people meet and discuss there toilet experiences down to the very detailed descriptions of their Poo. How its flowing, how frequent or un frequent it is. How solid, etc. So you get totally desensitized to any discussion about the topic. Unfortunately the average comedy audience has not had this desensitization process which means they will just get stuck on the disgustingness of it which is a road block to the eventual destination of laughter.
So I am still stick with needing a whole new show for the Autumn. Thank god my Show in Edinburgh is about Minimum Wage.
Anyway I will talk tomorrow about things that annoy me about Western Backpackers and the whole Travelling Scene.
Des
www.desbishop.com
I have been away and can only beg for your forgiveness as I was quite proud of the fact that I had been quite a good updater until now. I was even told by somebody when we started the site not to bother doing this as I would not be regular enough and that would bother the blogging community. By the way I wonder do most blogger types know that most people don't know what a blog is. As the website has become more popular more and more people are coming up to me asking me what a blog is. I am the worst person to ask because I am sure my definition does not live up to the standards set down by the International Blogging Commission. (IBC)
Anyway I am back from China and have begun to hand out the compulsory bucket loads of things that cost nothing and have no real purpose accept to appease everyone you know when you come home. You know if you don't people will be like "hey how come you never brought me back something that has no use that you had to haggle down from 20 us dollars to 10 cents over a half hour period". So I brought back loads of useless things so that people will know they are my friend. I bought some expensive stuff for people who I want to be my friend. For example I bought something expensive for a friend of mine who went to Asia last year and did not bring me back anything useless. I really felt like they must not like me as they knew the rule and they broke it. So now I assume that as they know the rules and know that I have in fact brought them something of value that they will have no choice but to like me according to the Souvenir for Friends Commission (SFC) guidelines, 2002.
So I have 5 days to remember that I am a comedian as I got quite detached from my life there for the last week and a half. I am a bit worried as Kilkenny is a big festival and I have a lot of gigs, yet I feel like I can't remember what I do anymore. This is not to put people off coming to see me it is just the truth. I am sure it will be fine I am just usually a bit more prepared. Though that is not really true as last year I had been working in Abrakebabra for a month up to 2 weeks before the festival and it turned out to be alright.
People always say to me when I return from holidays in an unusual place "I would say you got loads of material." What part of Holiday do people not understand. Comedy is a great job but part of it is shit and you do actually need a break sometimes. I do not base every action of my life under the pretence that there will probably some material in it. Incidentally most people I talk to are very uninteresting but they always say things like you are probably going to put this in your act now. NO I AM NOT you most uninteresting person you. I am not saying I am the most interesting person either but I do not think and never did think before I got into comedy that when talking to a comedian they were in fact turning my every word into comedy gold. I have very little material about China and most of what I do have has to do with going to the toilet which is not funny for 2 reasons.
1) Most of an audience have not had the collective toilet experience of China which has such a bonding influence that is overrides any desire to be grossed out.
2) While travelling in China all western people meet and discuss there toilet experiences down to the very detailed descriptions of their Poo. How its flowing, how frequent or un frequent it is. How solid, etc. So you get totally desensitized to any discussion about the topic. Unfortunately the average comedy audience has not had this desensitization process which means they will just get stuck on the disgustingness of it which is a road block to the eventual destination of laughter.
So I am still stick with needing a whole new show for the Autumn. Thank god my Show in Edinburgh is about Minimum Wage.
Anyway I will talk tomorrow about things that annoy me about Western Backpackers and the whole Travelling Scene.
Des
www.desbishop.com
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